As far as my memory goes back, I could recall that it was since my childhood days, that I had been inclined towards God and spirituality. My mother introduced Krishna as my companion, as my friend, as my brother and I had that kind of attitude towards him always. I used to feel somehow that he was with me, though not so intensely. Even today, when I leave home on to some journey, my mother says to Krishna, "Kanha, saath jaana.." [Krishna, go along]. So, such is our relationship with Krishna.
Meeting or being God was some kind of fantasy for me. My childish mind used to think that it was some kind of position and I could acquire it by studying hard. I used to ask my mother that whether the voice in the bhajans tape that was being played was of Krishna himself?
Then, circumstances changed, and as I grew up, being the only child, having only a mother, I started feeling very lonely in this world. There was a period in my life, which seemed like passing through the hell. Though through all this period, I had with me the intense love, caring and blessings of my mother, but I had to go through those tough times and there was no other option, with the expectations soaring high and the resources shrinking.
This led to my inclination towards spirituality getting stronger. I read a lot of text, followed some practices learning from here and there, and was just in search for that real bliss, which was lying underneath those words. But as my journey continued, I could experience that spiritual strength for only short durations, and could never actually be with that completely.
It was actually in the year 2003, in my 12th standard, that my search became more intense. Many years passed after that, and my journey went on and on.. struggling, exploring and seeking someone who would come to me and soothe this very soul of mine with that divine love, but no one appeared thus far.
It was this time as I could remember when I had finished my degree, and was sitting at home, waiting for a joining call from my employer. I used to listen to talks by different spiritual personalities on TV, and while scanning through the television, I came across to a person, whom I saw always smiling. I just stopped there and started listening to Him, and those words of His were immensely soothing to my heart. While watching Him on TV, when the camera rolled around, I could see the people sitting there, listening to Him with a very gentle smile and a joyful aura on their face and that too on almost everybody’s face. I wondered, why all of them were smiling, as there was no laughter show going on? Are they all paid audience, for smiling? Listening and wondering over all these thoughts, I suddenly realised that I was also smiling.., but why???, I didn’t know..!!
That was really wonderful for me. There was something that was attracting me towards Him, even through a TV. Those dark beautiful eyes.. full of love and compassion, that never fading and penetrating smile on His face, those reflections of divine aura with which He was carrying Himself was all there that was attracting me to Him. I felt like “ki kuch toh hai” [something is there for sure]. And what lies ahead is my journey of experiencing and exploring that “kuch” [something].
Although you must have understood by now who He was, but still to make it clear, He was none other than H.H. Sri Sri Ravishankar.
Then, after few days, I got my call from the employer, and went to Mysore, for my first job, if I could say like that. When I entered there in the Mysore campus, my eyes lit up and what I saw was just majestic and out of the thoughts. I fell in love with that place instantly. But beneath that beauty was lying a very intense and stern training for us. And as the days progressed, it became more and more intense and the stress levels started to shoot up. Then, on the Sanskar channel, there was a show of Sri Sri Ravishankar at 7.30 AM daily and it became a sort of my routine waking up listening to Him, when my TV alarm used to wake me up at 7.30 AM. Even though for 15 min, I used to listen Him very intensely, and those 15 min used to pass like nothing, and that increased that longing in my heart for Him. During the end of the show, people used to share their experiences about Sudarshan Kriya, and I used to wonder what is it so wonderful about it and all I wanted was to experience it. We had a little bunch of people there, ‘spiritually inclined’, and we discussed about it. We made plans also sometimes, but that didn’t work out, and that longing for meeting Him and experiencing Sudarshan Kriya was increasing day by day.
I met a few people there, who either had experienced it, like Sucharu Aggrawal, Rahul Anand, ‘Life Coach’ Chaya Mam, or wanted to experience it, like one of my friends, Vinit Aggrawal. I discussed about it as where can I go and learn it and they pointed to the Art of Living International Ashram in Bangalore.
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