Aur aakhir-kaar fadd hi lii... [And at last He took hold..].
Yes, that’s how it happened..
In fact, during all this period mentioned above, even before meeting Guruji in Rishikesh, something had started happening in my life, the first day I joined my first course. It was a process of transformation, a process of realization with some profound experiences. It was a process of transforming the tendency to Giving from Wanting, to approaching Unconditional from Conditionality, of Rising in Love from Falling in..!!
My connection with Gurudev has been of one on one, without any intermediates. He is like a personalized trainer for each of His disciples, creating situations in life for each of them and makes them go through those in the most natural of manners possible, without even making them realise it. It is when that disciple goes through such situations, knowledge blossoms in him. And it is a continuous process.
So, I think, that was one such time for me. During that period, I was going through a great emotional transformation. I was experiencing some very profound emotions, which often used to put me in a lot of emotional pain and longing, but at the same time, were opening up my heart also and purifying it too. So it was a very delicate time and during one such period, I was in a lot of pain and all I wanted was to see Him, as there seemed no other way of getting relieved from it.
So, I came to know that Guruji would be there in Noida for a day and I decided to go there. I went there with a lot of anticipation this time.
I reached there. It was Oct 30, 2010. Guruji was inside someone’s house and some 100-200 people were there waiting outside. I was waiting very anxiously. After a while He came out and the whole crowd just enveloped Him. He was looking at all of us one by one.
The pain in my heart was visible on my face too. I was expecting that He say me something to relieve me, but the chaos surrounding Him was too much. In between, when He looked at me, He gave a concerned look, but couldn’t talk. Then, after some time, after meeting all, while He was going back, I was very near to Him, with just one or two persons in between, and was reaching out to Him by my hand. A lot of pushing and all was going around and suddenly some of us felt like falling down. Suddenly I felt, that someone had held my finger to keep me from falling down, and when I saw who that was..??
It was none other than my beloved Gurudev...!!!
I was feeling absolutely elated having known it.
For a person reading it, it may be very normal thing to happen, but for me, it was a silent message given by Him, that “Ghabrao mat, girne nahi dunga..” [Don’t worry, I’ll not let you fall down my dear..]. It sent down a lot of relief in my aching heart. It conveyed that message, that no matter what the situation in life was, He was there to take care and hold the things together.
What He does is all very spontaneous and it looks very natural, very innocent and you even start doubting, “Did He really do that??”, but I tell you, that is how a Master works, He knows it all, but still maintains that wonderful non-doer ship and innocence about it. The one who is connected can only feel it, for others, it’s just another coincidence.
But when so many coincidences start happening in life, then better we put aside our brain, and start thinking with heart. It’s then only, that we can feel the grace flowing through into our lives.
Then after a while, He turned to me, and asked, “Tu kya karta hai..” [What do you do?] and I stumbled and couldn’t say anything except my profession L, “Guruji, Infosys Chandigarh me job karta hu..” [Guruji, I do a job in Infosys Chandigarh]. I thought, “How silly am I, as couldn’t say anything else?”. But thats how it is, the mind doesn’t work in His presence and more than all this, it was the experience when He spoke to me that mattered. It seemed like there were only He and I present among that crazy crowd around and all else was seeming void. It felt like time had slowed down for both of us but was running a bit quickly for others.
Truly.., it was magnificent; something can’t be explained in words..!! J
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